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Slacking About Maybe Reviewing the New Lady Gaga Single

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Slacking About Maybe Reviewing the New Lady Gaga Single

This morning, after nine nights of near-insomnia, I got up not feeling like complete trash. There's a new Lady Gaga song in the world, and I have not heard it. I'm going to make coffee, do some stretches, put on a green tea face mask, light a candle (apparently ‘grey flannel’ has a scent), eat a banana, chug some water... OK, yes, my body is now ready for ~“Perfect Illusion”~, ostensibly the lead single off Gaga's first A.A.P. (after ARTPOP) album. (FYI, the track was co-produced by Gaga alongside Mark Ronson, Kevin Parker of Tame Impala, and Bloodpop.)

One listen. Another listen. The creeping dread of having wanted a song to be good—because Gaga's highshavebeenhigh—and realizing it isn't. Log on to Slack. Start chatting with the only person on, Jeremy Larson, Pitchfork contributor slash personal friend. 

jill_mapes [8:31 AM] 
reviewing this new Gaga single
I'm like...

jeremydlarson [8:31 AM] 
: /
it’s kind of wack
right?

jill_mapes [8:31 AM] 
it starts not well

jeremydlarson [8:32 AM] 
the key change is unearned

jill_mapes [8:32 AM] 
well, it’s like, why key change w/o the big vocal moment?
the effect is lost on such produced music

jeremydlarson [8:33 AM] 
the production is very very thin
especially on the chorus

jill_mapes [8:33 AM] 
yeah but it feels like there's a lot of it

jeremydlarson [8:33 AM] 
yeah exactly

jill_mapes [8:33 AM] 
a lot of very thin sauce
like she needs heavier low end
the Parker thing almost gets her into a groove, but not quite
I don't think it's a total nightmare

jeremydlarson [8:34 AM] 
Parker thing?
I mean maybe my ears are trained to hear more low end now

jill_mapes [8:34 AM] 
Kevin Parker co-produced, I defs hear some Tame Impala vibes kick in at one pt

jeremydlarson [8:35 AM] 
but the four on the floor bass drum feels so poorly produced/recorded, like someone playing a cardboard bass drum
ohhh

jill_mapes [8:35 AM] 
ha

jeremydlarson [8:36 AM] 
I just don’t know who’s asking for Tame Gaga, in either sense of the phrase

jill_mapes [8:36 AM] 
Tame and Rih tho
ugh here's my deal with Gaga: she is not cool
she is a theater kid
(and no shade, I say this as an ex-theater kid)
she kind of can't not sing out with such immense earnestness

jeremydlarson [8:38 AM] 
agreed, but when the music doesn’t create fireworks behind her, it makes her sound kind of foolish

jill_mapes [8:38 AM] 
I find the idea of accent and cadence and character—and yes, patois, the internet's favorite term—to be super interesting in pop rn
and Gaga is... herself smashed against a piece of glass
Gaga can just never not be Gaga

jeremydlarson [8:40 AM] 
yeah
I think her voice is too big for this production, bottom line
I mean this is going to get a club remix, and that’s what’s going to play in the club
there are 100 people working on a club remix right now

jill_mapes [8:41 AM] 
I’ll probably like it more
it just does not sound like it was made in 2016… or 2015

jeremydlarson [8:42 AM] 
I guess you also have to examine why Gaga is doing this, because she’s not dumb it’s not like she can’t tell that this doesn’t have the fireworks glitter explosion
It wouldn’t be hard to add that

jill_mapes [8:43 AM] 
well then why would she possibly be doing this? she has a lot at stake here

jeremydlarson [8:44 AM] 
It sounds like the (Kevin Parker Remix) that we get 7 months after the proper single dominates the charts
And everyone’s like, “ooo Gaga and Kevin Parker” and then they’re like, “Eh it’s a neat little demo"
But this sounds like a bunch of studio musicians were told what to play, almost anonymous

jill_mapes [8:45 AM] 
I think that's harsh on the Kevin Parker Remix
you know exactly what to expect with the Kevin Parker Remix, but it usually has some brief passages of fruity funk
like I can dance to the Kevin Parker Remix of whatever better than I can this

jeremydlarson [8:46 AM] 
didn’t he do something with Haim?

jill_mapes [8:47 AM] 
didn't they remix him?

jeremydlarson [8:47 AM] 
yeah
Cause I’m A Man

jill_mapes [8:47 AM] 
I miss Haim

jeremydlarson [8:47 AM] 
same

jill_mapes [8:48 AM] 
I am sorta bummed, I was having a good feeling about this Gaga thing

jeremydlarson [8:48 AM] 
for me this is ultimately square peg round hole
but YMMV
and you have a greater breadth of Gaga knowledge than I do
but I guess what I listen to Gaga I want it to slap
I have just no use for muted psych dance Gaga
I want oversized, bad-for-my-health pop

jill_mapes [8:50 AM] 
ha. I mean, yes, but it's like the Chipotle to Katy Perry's McDonald’s, in terms of bad-for-you pop

jeremydlarson [8:50 AM] 
don’t order a diet coke with a double quarter pounder

jill_mapes [8:50] 
daaaaang
lol what if instead of a Tracks post I just put this convo on Pitch
also I am mostly kidding cuz fuck a roundtable

jeremydlarson [8:52 AM] 
I mean roundtables are bad, convos are better


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