Image via MLB Instagram
Baseball season is under way, folks. To celebrate Opening Day, we polled Pitchfork staffers on the song they would choose if they were stepping up to the plate. Here are their responses.
Mark Richardson (Detroit Tigers): Pan Sonic "Rahina I" from their brilliant 4xCD album Kesto. It's Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll Part 2" enriched with Plutonium-239, has that "Now I am become death, destroyer of bullpens" kind of vibe. The only real question is if there is a major league ballpark P.A. that could do it justice. Would have sounded great in Tiger Stadium.
Jessica Hopper: I go to about one baseball game per decade, so as much I would like to skew baseball-meta with, say, Crass’ “Do They Owe Us a Living", mostly I think about what are the best songs that sound like heaven opening when they are played LOUD AS FUCK. So there is really only one answer and that is Amerie’s “One Thing".
Jeremy Gordon (Chicago Cubs): The best walkup songs announce from the first note that all hell is about to break loose. Apologies to taste but that means I'm picking the instrumental version of Disturbed's "Glass Shatters", best known as the infamous theme song of former WWE professional wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin. It's Pavlovian: People simply lose their damn minds when that glass shatters, and I need that lizard brain reaction from the crowd if I want to feel amped enough to mash some dingers.
My favorite team is the Chicago Cubs, because I enjoy flashes of precious optimism inevitably undermined by the crushing reality that life is shit.
Amy Phillips (Philadelphia Phillies): Duh. I mean, Andrew W.K. is the ultimate psych-up music. And I'm going to need to summon a hell of a lot of Power of Positive Partying, since I'm going to bat for my lifelong favorite team, the Philadelphia Phillies, who have settled comfortably in the nether regions of the NL East for the past few years, and don't seem like they're going anywhere any time soon.
Brandon Stosuy:
Ryan Dombal: Rae Sremmurd's "No Type" but with the lyrics tweaked to: "I ain't got no type—bad pitches are the only thing that I like." Figure the visual would be something like ...
Ian Cohen (Philadelphia Phillies):I had a chance to field test this when I joined an adult kickball league in the summer of 2013—the plan was to use a different song from Yeezus each time, but the dogs on the sideline started barking uncontrollably five seconds into "On Sight". I actually want to be a closer anyway, because I like the idea of making eight figures to work 20 minutes every other day for nine months of the year. I'd have to use Deftones' "My Own Summer (Shove It)" as my entrance music, because the snare intro/riff has surpassed the Jaws theme in conveying "YOU ARE SHARK BAIT, SON" and as an MLB closer in 2015, I am contractually obligated to maintain the physique and facial hair of a Deftones member in 1997.
Charlotte Zoller: I’ve got to go with AC/DC’s “Big Balls”. The lyrics speak for themselves.
My favorite team is any team I don’t have to watch play. When it comes to sports, I’m pretty much the Kyle Mooney of Pitchfork.
Chris Kaskie (St. Louis Cardinals): The guitar intro would be amazing for an at bat, the refrain would be pretty prescient for a reliever run out. A dynamic baseball song. Cocksure is baseball defined.
Matt Dennewitz (Chicago Cubs):
Meaghan Garvey: I don't know anything about baseball, but that's where Future Griffey Jr. comes in. See also.
Corban Goble (Kansas City Royals): Though he wasn't a hitter, I remember when Jose Lima (RIP) came out to a salsa song he had recorded himself earlier that year. I thought that was pretty next level. In lieu of a self-recorded salsa song, I suppose my choice would be a tribute to the best walk-up song in baseball—Joe Mauer's consistent use of "What You Know".