Music documentaries in 2015 are increasingly preoccupied with commemorative storytelling, as some of this year’s most prominent narratives zoom in on issues and people that take longer than a 20-minute interview to understand. Some of the splashiest documentaries at this year’s Sundance—from Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck to Netflix’ Nina Simone documentary—were about music, and now, two prominent films from this year’s TriBeCa Film Festival have addiction, fame, and the process surrounding what it is to be a performer at their core. Kevin Kerslake’s As I Am: The Life and Times of DJ AM tells the story of the late Adam Goldstein, who died of a drug overdose in 2009, and Sam Wrench’s The London Sessions follows Mary J. Blige through a period of recovery and renewal in the process of making her 13th studio album.
As I Am: The Life and Times of DJ AM
Before he became the mega-star disc jockey known as DJ AM, there were times when Adam Goldstein was so captivated by sound that he needed to sleep with a hairdryer because it was the only noise capable of silencing his thoughts. He also waited for the moment when two cars’ would pull up next to each other just so that he could witness the windshield-wipers moving in sync from behind—he waited for that moment, transfixed by the wiper’s swish-drag pulse. But long before that, before he was a DJ, before he was a recovering addict, before he was a plane crash survivor and the star of an MTV show about sobriety and one of the most commercially-successful DJs ever, Adam Goldstein was simply this: a person captivated by noise.
Kevin Kerslake’s As I Am: The Life and Times of DJ AM is a chronicle of the harrowing underbelly to the life of DJ AM—from his monumental struggle with addiction to his tenure as the guy who would DJ Madonna’s birthday party and appear next to Kobe Bryant in Nike commercials. Goldstein’s story is particularly poignant in view of what he overcame outside of his own personal addiction: he was so consumed by his self-loathing that he had gastric bypass surgery; he survived a high profile plane crash in 2008 only to get back on a plane a few weeks later so that he could DJ an event for Jay Z.
In many ways, the film tells the story of DJ culture through the lens that is Adam: between his partnership with Vegas nightclubs and monolith institutions like the NFL, he was the person who took DJ pay scales to the next level, who proved that DJing could be lucrative on a grand scale after years of DJing for $40 at L.A. nightclubs. His talent was inimitable. Life and Times features commentary from Z-Trip, A-Trak, Samantha Ronson, Mark Ronson, Steve Aoki, Diplo, and others who refer to Goldstein as "bionic," "a mad scientist," and "a digital shaman," with a gift for cutting and scratching. His friends tell stories of a young, chubby Adam looking like a cornball but getting early respect from the hottest DJs in L.A. Goldstein was sampling 15-second stretches from records before the DJ software Serato was invented, flipping vinyl records on and off the deck just to get a hook from Sean Paul’s "Gimme the Light" that he could blend into a chorus from the Police’s "Roxanne". Throughout the film, Serato is referred to with almost Christlike significance: there was the period before Serato, and there was the period after. Before Serato, DJs had to carry every record they wanted to play with them when they travelled; after it was invented, Adam maintained his prowess but felt some sort of loss: "All that computer shit is cool and people get that extra edge," he said, "but it's not the soul [of DJing]…and it doesn’t mean you got flavor."
Despite its chronicle of money, fame, and success, Life and Times is ultimately a story about the ugliness of addiction. Archival commentary from AM has him describing addiction as "a phenomenon of craving that is gangster to say the least," a daily grind born of self-loathing that found the DJ mired in "self-hatred" with his "skin crawling with shame." Goldstein collaborated with MTV to create a reality show designed to help others struggling with addiction, but ultimately this put more pressure on him to uphold his status as a recovered addict (Goldstein went to rehab for alcohol, crack, and myriad of other drugs when he was still a minor; his father—who was never in his life—died when he was in treatment). He died of an overdose in 2009, his success proving itself poor insulation from the demons that fueled his own addiction. "A very wise woman that I once met told me that there’s a universal lie that I’ve pretty much believed my whole life, which is: ‘As I am, I’m not enough’," Goldstein said in the film’s opening moments, which register as all the more heartbreaking by its end: "And as long as I can remember, I’ve always felt that lie to be the fucking truth." If The Life and Times of DJ AM accomplishes anything, it's to impress the powerlessness of an innovator whose iconography has yet to be matched.
In the summer of 2013 Mary J. Blige travelled to England in pursuit of a new sound for her 13th studio album, The London Sessions. The record would feature Disclosure, Sam Smith, and a host of other British singer-songwriters that Blige deemed emblematic of the new "London sound," helmed by Rodney Jerkins during 10 days of writing and 10 days of recording in various studios around London. Sam Wrench’s The London Sessions chronicles this process in black-and-white footage that sheds light on how titans like Mary J. Blige work with songwriters—people behind the scenes that we never see. ("You have to come into a room with humility...because if your energy is too intimidating you could kill a whole vibe," Blige says.) At Jimmy Napes' recording studio on Day 1, we see Blige discussing her struggle with alcohol, drugs, "learning to love herself," and a kind of self-doubt that is never fully articulated but strongly hinted at when she meets with songwriter Sam Romano, and weeps over his lyrical suggestions for a song about overcoming struggle. "God sent this one!" she chokes through tears when Romano hits a refrain, "you said I’d never be somebody and now I’m pulling all the strings"—a message that Blige says is important for her to share with young girls.
Past struggle and the need for renewal is the modus operandi framing the narrative. While in London, Blige meets with Mitch Winehouse, father of the late Amy Winehouse who, Blige says, endlessly inspires her work. In a tearful interview after their lunch, Blige reflects on how emotional it is for her to realize that she could’ve met the same fate had she not turned herself around.
Still, despite its intimations of struggle, The London Sessions is largely about the happy redesign of a new Mary J. Blige. She records with a live band for the first time and speaks of how recording "F for You" with Disclosure opened up a lane for her to move from ballads to a new kind of music that was "all 4/4 on the floor"—something that could be bluesy and soul, but still danceable. Later, the film captures endearing moments with the self-described "two 20-year-olds from Surrey," in which Disclosure’s Guy Lawrence mixes one of Blige's hooks into a song moments after she records it. "…You did that on your laptop?!" Blige’s husband Kendu marvels in a moment of intergenerational collaboration. "Wow!"
Sam Smith, one of Blige’s new allies, also makes repeat appearances, harmonizing with Blige in the studio for "Nobody But You" and later returning to praise the final master of "Right Now". Blige describes the process as the building of a new regime: for The London Sessions she has Steve Barnett, Disclosure, and Sam Smith at her disposal—a new team of allies in the music industry that she refers to as a "new family." Towards the end of the film there’s an epic moment when she’s listening to "Right Now" with Sam Smith and Disclosure and they are all vibing—a veteran jamming with the new kids on the block. That moment really encapsulates the film, which is an endearing mix of old school and new personalities—of what was and what is yet to come.