On her mega hit "Hello", Adele belts out the title phrase with all the subtle, glottal oomph of an avalanche. If you answered your phone and heard someone emoting a greeting like this, you'd gasp. "Hello from the other side/ I must've called a thousand times/ To tell you I'm sorry," but then I had to keep calling back because I burst your eardrums and you couldn't hear me anyway. A simple "Hey, what’s up, hello," would certainly do.
Musical greeting as overpowering rush of volume and emotion obviously has a certain appeal, given the song's ascent to the top of every chart within hollering distance, which is every chart. Other performers, though, have taken less, or differently, dramatic approaches to salutation. Here are some famous, and less famous, musical howdys.
Sonny Boy Williamson: "Good Morning Little Schoolgirl" (1937)
An early example of the greeting-as-come-on, from way back in 1937, with the first Sonny Boy Williamson on vocals and harmonica, and Big Joe Williams and Robert Lee McCoy on guitars. "Good morning, little schoolgirl/ Can I go home with you/ Now you can tell your mother and your father that Sonny Boy is a little schoolboy too." You can read those lines as indicating that Williamson is in character as a schoolboy—or you can read them, more queasily, as Williamson encouraging his underage interlocutor to tell her parents that he's younger than that knowing voice assures you he is. Though the promise of the diamond ring later suggests that the girl could be older too; we may be talking age-play here. There could well have been negotiation even before that first salutation.
Billie Holiday: "Good Morning Heartache" (1946)
This song became something of a standard, with many cover versions, but Holiday's 1946 recording is the first and best known. In sentiment this isn't so far away from Adele's smash, but where "Hello" goes back and forth between regret, nostalgia, and hope, Holiday sticks with resignation. Saying "hello" isn't a new approach to an old lover, but a weary reiteration. And nobody does weary resignation better than Holiday; if her guest had any manners at all it would get right up and leave rather than setting in when Holiday declares, "might as well get used to you hanging around/ Good morning, heartache/ Sit down."
Faron Young: "Hello Walls" (1961)
Willie Nelson's first major songwriting breakthrough, "Hello Walls" nicely encapsulates his ability to blur the line between twangy corn and disturbingly cracked despair. When you say "hi" to the walls, you don't really want the walls saying "hi" back, especially not in that eerie chorus.
Ruby and the Romantics: "Hey There Lonely Boy" (1963)
A rare instance of the female-on-male-salutation-come-on genre. Those light, innocent vocals by Ruby Nash are the antithesis of Sonny Boy Williamson's—you feel like you could go on watching after the greeting and not see anything to scare the kittens.
Lionel Richie: "Hello" (1983)
The most direct precursor to Adele's massive schmaltz hit is Richie's same-named smash. Richie even did an Instagram mashup so the two could "hello" at each other.
Kate Bush: "Hello Earth" (1985)
Most singers say hello to a love, a stranger, a wall; Kate Bush is always thinking bigger. Maybe it's a space alien talking here; maybe it's God, who knows?
Simple Minds: "Hello, I Love You, Won't You Tell Me Your Name" (2002)
Jim Morrison's tacky come-on turned into tackier electro-dance-floor crap. Doors fans really hate this version judging by the YouTube comments, but (like many Doors songs) it's such an ill-conceived train wreck to begin with that further train wreckage seems entirely in the spirit. Someone greets you with this, you head for the exit.
Beyoncé: "Hello" (2008)
An inverse pick-up line song. "You had me at hello/ It was many years ago," Beyoncé sings, and then goes on to chronicle why her long-time guy is still awesome years later. It's sweet, rather than stalkerish—and a reminder that Beyoncé really spends an unusual amount of time singing about marital bliss.
Diddy-Dirty Money: "Hello Good Morning" [ft. T.I. and Rick Ross] (2010)
The Dirty Money music collective of Diddy, Dawn Richard, and Kalenna Harper, is joined by Rick Ross and a scene-stealing manic Nicki Minaj for a Eurotrash tribute to the early morning, or late evening, depending. The "hello, good morning" gets repeated so often, and with so little inflection, that Diddy doesn't sound like he's talking to anyone. He's just repeating the greeting reflexively sans brain activity—which is how you say "hello" to most people most of the time, is the truth.